In the Heart of Time
by desertredwolf
Summary: A slightly darker take on the reason why Hermione returned the Time Turner at the end of the third year. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Harry Potter. All rights go to respective owners.**

* * *

 **In the Heart of Time**

She hadn't slept well in months.

It was ironic, really. She quite literally had all the time in the world at her disposal, but she couldn't find the time to sleep. Well if she were to be honest with herself, and at the moment she wasn't inclined to be, it wasn't the inability to find the time to sleep — it was that whenever she fell asleep, she was haunted by nightmares.

Hermione wondered if her time at Hogwarts would ever get easier. Although, knowing the company she kept, it was highly unlikely.

Today was the last day of term and she knew she shouldn't be feeling so uneasy and on edge. There were no classes, no exams left, and the students had the entire day to themselves. Unlike so many of the students though, who were lunging outside in the sun or chatting with friends, Hermione found herself in the Headmaster's office, sharply dressed in her Hogwarts school uniform.

.oOo.

" _Remember, do not move after you spin the Time Turner and, I cannot stress this enough, Ms. Granger, you must not be seen," Professor McGonagall said, handing her the Time Turner. The two witches stood in the Deputy Headmistress' office shortly after the start-of-term feast. Soft candle light cast shadows along the walls, as the sun set._

 _Hermione nodded. She already knew the rules and had read up on the dangers of time travel over the summer. Carefully, she took the Time Turner from her professor's hands and placed the chain around her neck. She held the device in her hand and waited for her next instructions._

" _Alright, Ms. Granger," Professor McGonagall spoke briskly, apparently satisfied with Hermione's focused attitude, "we will conduct a trial run. Turn the device back two hours and meet me in the Transfiguration classroom. Good luck."_

 _Hermione nodded and began to spin the Time Turner backwards. From Professor McGonagall's perspective, it was as if Hermione vanished before her eyes. But for Hermione, she felt time slow down, before quickly speeding backwards. The sensation of traveling through time was nothing like she imagined. Time physically washed over her like a gentle wave and then … she was in the past._

.oOo.

This morning had been one of the worst over the course of the entire year. Knowing that her year had involved multiple break-ins by an alleged murderer, fights with her best friends, a time-traveling escapade to save the aforementioned suspected murderer (who was apparently innocent), _and_ outrunning their professor-turned-werewolf in the Forbidden Forest — well, it was saying something that this morning was worse than most.

Frazzled and exhausted, she was late meeting Harry and Ron for breakfast. She quickly sat down at the Gryffindor table across from her two friends and, perhaps a bit too abruptly, said good morning. Whether it had been something in the tone of her voice, or the shadows under her eyes, Harry gave her a curious look. But before he could say anything, he was quickly pulled into a Quidditch discussion with Ron and Seamus.

Harry and Ron finished eating before her. When they stood up to leave, she briefly informed them that she was meeting with Professor McGonagall after breakfast. They hadn't given it a second thought. Ron had offhandedly told her to "Have fun," before dragging Harry away to go pack. (Although, Hermione had a nasty suspicion that they were playing a game of Exploding Snap with the twins, instead.)

And now she found herself in the Headmaster's office, standing alone in front of Professor McGonagall, a mysterious and stern-looking Ministry of Magic employee, and (of course) Professor Dumbledore.

 _I don't know how Harry does this,_ Hermione shifted, uncomfortable under the weight of their three gazes. _I would rather be anywhere, but here._

.oOo.

 _It had started simple enough; at least, simple for Hermione. The scheduling had been complex, but she was used to keeping rigorous and demanding timetables. She thought she was managing everything quite well. She was able to make it to all of her classes and checkpoints on time. She hadn't broken any of the rules and had kept the Time Turner a secret, just like she promised._

 _Sure, she might have been a little tired, but that was to be expected. She assumed that would get better over time._

 _Her problems truly started one day when she turned time back to complete her morning schedule. As she let time flow around her, she began to watch her surroundings, which was something she had started doing the week before. People blurred and rushed by her, not knowing that an out-of-time girl watched their progress. The sun was quickly pulled back down towards the horizon and candle flames flickered into existence._

 _But it was in the moment before time caught up to her that, out of the corner of her eye, she saw something move. Just for a moment it existed; then time stopped spiraling backward and she was once again starting the day._

 _Hermione was sure that it was nothing; that it was just a trick of the shadows or simply her imagination. But curiosity, and the desire to discover and learn, got the better of her. So she kept an eye out and waited._

 _She didn't see anything for almost two weeks and was about to give up when she saw it again. Like before, it — whatever it was — appeared out of the corner of her eye. This time, it was near the bottom of the Astronomy tower staircase. Hermione watched it carefully and was startled to see that, for the brief few seconds it existed, there was nothing physical that could have cast the shadow._

But that means — No … it can't be. Could it? _Hermione thought, gears whirling in her head. She thought back through all of her readings on Time Travel and nothing came close to the oddity that she witnessed._

 _Brow furrowed in determination, she nodded to herself and set off towards the library._

.oOo.

"Could you tell us again, Ms. Granger," Professor McGonagall asked in a borderline bewildered tone, "why you are returning the Time Turner? As I recall, you were quite eager to take these classes, and you seem to have handled the responsibility quite well — although, I never had any doubts. I know you are very eager to learn and this is an incredible opportunity for you to have the time to pursue what you wish."

Hermione swallowed back a small sob. She was beyond exhausted, constantly on edge, and felt like she had to be always looking over her shoulder. The desire to learn was what had led to all of her current troubles.

 _Paranoid,_ she reprimanded herself. _You're simply paranoid. Just paranoid._ Hermione ignored the knotted feeling of anxiety in her stomach that told her that she was lying to herself.

.oOo.

 _After two months of watching the shadow and coming up with nothing in her research, she broke one of the rules Professor McGonagall had stressed to her. As she spun the Time Turner back, she saw the shadow out her peripheral vision … and began to carefully move towards it._

.oOo.

Harry had asked her, the day after their mad adventure in rescuing Sirius and Buckbeak, if the pressure of having the Time Turner was what had caused her to be so anxious and stressed. The kind and worried look in his eyes stopped her from telling him the truth. It was a burden she didn't want to be placed on his shoulders. So she lied. She assured him that he was correct, that she would be giving it back to McGonagall at the end of the year, and that she would never use it again. She promised him that she was fine. But after what she found hidden in the folds of time, she knew she wasn't okay.

Hermione never wanted to even _see_ a Time Turner again.

.oOo.

 _The clock chimed midnight and Hermione jumped with a start. She struggled to try and control her breathing, but ultimately failed and burst into tears. Clamping her hands over her mouth, she rocked slightly in her chair. She desperately wanted to close her eyes, so that she could sleep. But every time she tried, she started having another panic attack. Besides, she was out-of-bounds, past curfew, and searching for answers in some very Dark books in the Restricted Section. It wouldn't be prudent for her to close her eyes._

 _Yes. That was the real reason._

 _Slowly, her eyes traveled back down to the open book in front of her. This was the worse case scenario that she had imagined. She began reading the passage again, her trembling fingers trailed along under the sentences as she read._

 **Witches and wizards have studied the nature and complexities of time for centuries. Legends state that the wizard Merlin created the first Time Turner. Since that time, research has concluded that going back further than five hours severely damages the fabric of time, as well as drive the traveler into insanity.**

 **Those that travel frequently, or travel further back than five hours, are said to suffer from sleep deprivation, anxiety, depression, paranoia, and hallucinations. Stories from many travelers that have used Time Turners frequently stated that they were regularly hunted by "a beast that lived in time."**

 **As of this time, all accounts have been discredited and attributed to the travelers suffering from sleep deprivation, hallucinations, and anxiety.**

 _There; this one passage. Out of all of her additional summer reading, out of all of the warnings and lectures, she had never come across this — until now._

 _She was tired and wanted to go to bed. She could barely make it through her classes, which was saying something considering the situation._

Well, that settles it. I'm just imagining it, _Hermione thought, slightly mollified at what she found. Quietly putting the book back, she snuck out of the library and made it to one of her check points. Spinning the Time Turner back to before curfew, she kept her eyes trained on her sneakers and did not look up until she was out of the flow of time._

 _She made her way back to the Gryffindor common room, deliberately ignoring the fact that she was walking so fast, she was almost running. She refused to think about the trip and how out of the quiet flow of time, she had heard the pounding of footsteps … and snarling echoing in the hall._

 _Hermione unconsciously brushed the hair off the back of the neck and urged herself to calm down. It was just her imagination. There was nothing breathing down the back of her neck._

 _It took all of her will power to not look back as she stepped into the common room._

.oOo.

"Ms. Granger?" Professor Dumbledore peered over the top of his glasses, "We were wondering why you are returning this?" The Headmaster gently picked up the Time Turner, letting it hang between them. The device spun, the glass catching the light, and Hermione's breath caught. Maybe she was overreacting. Maybe she could handle it—

 _NO!_ Hermione shook her head. _I can't do it. Not anymore._

"It-it's just too much. I have all the time in the world, but I can't find enough time to sleep," Hermione gave a shaking laugh. "And this gives me more time to focus on the classes I truly enjoy."

"Are you quite sure, Ms. Granger?" Professor McGonagall inquired. "I understand that this has been a trying year, but you still have achieved the highest scores in your year."

Hermione nodded. "Yes, Professor. I am sure." The glittering glass of the Time Turner tempted her to ask for it back, but she stood her ground. "I think, Professors, that while much good came from this," she gave Dumbledore a pointed look, "some things are better left undone."

Dumbledore nodded to her and handed the device to the Ministry official. The man, who hadn't said a word yet, placed the delicate device into a silver box with intricate runes covering the sides. He closed the lid and the box glowed for a brief moment before disappearing off the desk. Satisfied that the Time Turner was gone, Hermione walked out of the Headmaster's Office and went to join her friends at lunch — doing her best to ignore the growing shadows gathering in the corners of the room.

* * *

 **Prompts**

 _The Fairy Tale Challenge — Diagon Alley II_

Fairy Tale Prompt _(10 points)_ : Goldilocks and the Three Bears - Write about curiosity. Alternatively, write a creature!fic.

Dialogue Prompt _(5 points)_ : "Some things are better left undone."

 _Year Long Scavenger Hunt — Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges_

Prompt _(25 points)_ : Write about Time Travel


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